Return of the Maltese Falcon

I've done some strange things in the cause of sport. My Dad once got a letter published in the Telegraph when he wrote to tell them that I had been up until three in the morning watching Tim Henman lose....on Ceefax.

Today was rather similar as I spent rather longer than was credible hunting down the result of a one frame shoot out between two foreign snooker players, both placed in the lower reaches of the world rankings in a fairly unimportant new snooker event

Thanks to Twitter, this stuff is a lot easier than it used to be and I was soon feeling pretty pleased. My man had won (well his opponent had pulled out with illness) and all was now right with the world.

OK that's probably a bit strong and I suspect that Andy Gray or Alex Reid or most Egyptians might not agree, but maybe if they are fans of Tony Drago, they might feel that life is not quite as awful as it could be because the Maltese Falcon is back!

Tony Drago first came to my attention in the early 1980s when I read a little snippet in the Mirror about this young Maltese kid who played quicker than Jimmy White. This name stuck with me and I was fascinated to see him play. I had to wait a while but possibly a year later, a match at the Crucible finished early and to keep the crowd amused, an exhibition was played between Tony Drago and someone else (John Virgo?). Well the Tornado didn't let me down. He was quicker that the Hurricane, faster than the Whirlwind, he was so quick that the umpire was having trouble respotting the balls before he played his next shot. He was truly awesome and I was hooked and have followed him ever since.

What was not clear that day but that we subequently discovered was that he was also rather flawed as a snooker player. His temperament was a little fragile, he was prone to the most incredible lapses in concentration and perhaps most crucially, he was possbly worse with the rest than my mate Tim.

None of this put me off him in the slightest. Indeed the attraction grew. He is so full of expression that you feel as though you can see straight into his soul. When he missed a shot, you could see the frustration etched on his face. If he could keep things together and keep the ball within reach, he was sublime. The trouble was that everyone knew how flaky he was, so the other players just tried to put him under pressure, knowing there was a good chance he could crack and sadly he often did.

His career was up and down in the 80s and 90s but he had some great performances. Indeed he is probably still Malta's greatest ever sportsman (Laurie Pace anyone?). As the standard in the sport increased, his ranking fell and he pretty much packed up a few years ago to concentrate on pool (shorter attention span and no rests!).

Anyway this year he has decided to give it another go and so I'm back wasting my time scouring obscure snooker websites and delving into the depths of Twitter to follow the progress of Tony Drago, my sporting hero, in the hope of seeing him back in the big time once again.

Call yourself a film buff

Frankly I'm appalled. During 2010, I saw just ten new films at the cinema. I love films, I love the cinema. Ten films is a complete disgrace. What makes it worse is that at least three of them were due to me accompanying one of the kids, rather than making a deliberate choice to see them. It makes choosing my film of the year very difficult. Thankfully six films that I did see were great (it seems to have been quite a good year for films) and if pushed I would select as the best film, Inception followed closely by Up In The Air. Toy Story 3D was unquestionably the most over-rated. It was fine but not even the best of the trilogy and certainly not a classic. The best film of 2010 that I didn't see at the cinema has to be Oil City Confidential featuring the mesmerising Wilco Johnson. The full list is below. 2011 will be better

Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll
Up in the Air
Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief
A Single Man
Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang
How to Train your Dragon
Inception
Toy Story 3
Monsters
The Tourist

Perhaps more interestingly are the five films I would have most liked to see but didn't get round to. They are in no particular order;

The Social Network
Piranha 3D (is this sufficient excuse for the picture of Kelly Brook)
Kick Ass
Catfish
Chico and Rita

Top 20 songs of the noughties

It was the repeat tonight of the Top 20 songs of the noughties. The list in this case was put together by "music experts" and unusually for this type of show made lots of sense (I still haven't recovered from discovering that Paul O'Grady was supposedly a better stand up than Bob Hope in a previous Channel 4 programme!!!). Number one was Mr Brightside by the Killers.

I've spent the last hour mulling over their list, and so thought I might as well have a go myself. The list below features my top 20 songs of the noughties, based on their impact, their significance and their durability. There are no covers, no artist features more than once and as a minor protest, nothing from X Factor winners though most of these have been on the programme at some stage and personally I can never listen to Sex on Fire without thinking of Jamie Afro's great audition.

My number one would be the Arctic Monkeys. It is a brilliant song, it was a massive hit and the way it entered our consciousness signalled the most dramatic change in the music industry of the decade.


Eminem Stan 2000
Kylie Minogue Can't Get You Out of My Head 2001
The White Stripes Seven Nation Army 2003
Outkast Hey Ya 2003
Franz Ferdinand Take Me Out 2004
The Killers Somebody Told Me 2004
Kaiser Chiefs I Predict A Riot 2004
Arctic Monkeys I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor 2005
James Blunt You're Beautiful 2005
Amy Winehouse Back to Black 2006
Gnarls Barkley Crazy 2006
Snow Patrol Chasing Cars 2006
Rihanna Umbrella 2007
Take That Shine 2007
Kings of Leon Sex On Fire 2008
Katy Perry I Kissed A Girl 2008
Jay-Z Empire State of Mind 2009
Lady GagGa Poker Face 2009
Black Eyed Peas I Gotta Feeling 2009
Lily Allen The Fear 2009

Click - emotional and remote

Whilst driving down to Eastbourne over the Christmas period, my wife suddenly noticed both our kids burst simultaneously into tears. Now my driving has sometimes caused a lot of upset but on this occasion, the cause of their outburst of emotion was a movie.

Click is an Adam Sandler movie from 2006 featuring a workaholic who spends too much time trying to get promoted and not enough with his family. He manages to track down a universal remote controller that he soon realises has the power to control his life. He can freeze the world around him, adjust the colour or volume. Most dangerously he can literally fast forward to skip the boring bits. Without giving too much away, this proves to be a fairly powerful feature.

We watched the movie last night to see what the fuss was about and why it caused so much emotion from our kids.

The film is firmly from the It's a Wonderful Life canon with bits of Back to the Future or Bruce Almighty thrown in. It has stayed with me but mainly because it is so close to being really good whilst at the same time being incredibly flawed.

I hated the slapstick and gross out comedy (fart joke truly disgusting) as it seemed so inappropriate in the context of the movie. It also featured loads of really bad language and sex jokes and I was surprised it got through as a 12. Also the make up despite getting nominated for an Oscar was rubbish. We know what Henry Winkler looked like at 30 and it was nothing like that!

However at the heart of this movie was a very moving tale of a guy who has forgotten what is important and needs to be reminded that life is a journey not a destination. There were strong performances from Christopher Walken and Adam Sandler whilst The Hoff was hilarious as the Boss. Kate Beckinsale was stonkingly georgeous as his wife (Pocahontas outfit anyone).

What I love about films is the power they have to touch you and I will remember this film for the heartstrings it tugged in a 13 year old girl a 9 year old boy and a cynical grumpy 48 year old bloke.